My short and unsuccessful career as a criminal

When I was 15 I stole a coin purse. To this day I have no idea why. I had just bought a backpack for school (Eastpak of course, it was all the rage in the late 90s) and I stood looking at this tiny brown coin purse thinking what an absolutely stupid, useless thing this was (and expensive too). And then I let in fall into my shopping bag with the backpack.

When I went though the door the alarm (obviously) went off and I walked back to the counter - ears, eyes, brains burning. I knew the jig was up. No point in running or pretending I hadn't heard - I am fully capable of running but I'm a sprinter - I probably wouldn't have gotten far before I would have been panting and fainting. And I wasn't deaf although I wish I had thought of acting deaf so I could pretend not to hear.... I really hadn't planned my crime very well.